My friend told me that she bought her son a small battery-powered car. The child was very happy with it, but the moment he drove it for the first time he showed strange behavior that surprised and saddened her at the same time. The child got angry and drove the car violently, used bad language and even spat! It was a severe shock; her baby had been observing her way of driving all this time. She was completely devastated. This day was the beginning of a dramatic change in her life as a mother and a real awareness of the “nurturing” concept.
Bringing up children is not advice and guidance. It is not what we say deliberately, rather what we do unconsciously and naturally. Our spontaneous actions are what children imbibe and make part of their character. The saying “Education at a young age is like an inscription in stone” terrifies me and confers a great responsibility. Since a child absorbs everything around like a sponge; they carry what they learn then throughout life. Our child will carry a part of us into their world. We will be part of their future.
Usually a child is a mirror of its parents; they are a mini model of them. I think it is necessary to use this point to raise the child as we would like them to be. When we want to teach our children to eat healthy food, the fastest way to do it is to eat and enjoy it ourselves, and even praise its taste and the benefits that it provides to our bodies. If we want a sweet child who would choose nice and tactful words, then we should deliberately use them first. When my son Dhari was three, we were at my friend’s place once. Her mother came down the stairs, and Dhari shouted spontaneously, “God, you are so beautiful.” She was filled with happiness. Since that day, she repeats this story on every occasion. Without knowing, we program our child’s mind. He or she is the result of environment and surroundings. The first people the child is affected by are parents. Mostly, the child of a reader will love books. The son of a smoker will smoke. If a child’s family rewards him with candy, he will reward himself with it in the future. The daughter of a generous parent will be generous. A sports enthusiast will turn his kids into one.
My friend has suffered for years from obesity and excessive addiction to sugar, but she did not want her children to go through the same experience. So she admitted to me that in moments of weakness, she would hide behind the kitchen door away from the eyes of her children and eat from her secret cache everything she desired without joy. She would even eat something entirely different later, just so her children wouldn’t smell the chocolate and discover her secret. She kept doing in front of her children so they wouldn’t feel that she does not practice as she preaches. I think her theory is correct, because it is hard to convince a child about something, when they see you doing the exact opposite.